Hobbs & Shaw
- Fun, loud, stupid, turn-your-brain-off action that doesn’t quite live up to the franchise that whelped it.
Full Disclosure: I’m a fan of the Fast and Furious franchise. The main crew’s rise from street-racing DVD thieves to Avengers-level superheroes is the most hilariously over the top and ridiculous character progression in movie history, but they’re just so much fun! I was hoping that Hobbs & Shaw would deliver more of the same. It does, but only to a certain degree.
Review
You know exactly what you’re in for three minutes into this one. Idris Elba swaggers onto the screen clad in a skin tight mech suit along with some unnamed cronies. When he’s asked who he is, he replies, “Bad guy.” No grey area there, is there? If only more movies started out like that. I get so confused when characters don’t stare directly into the camera and announce who they are and what their intentions are. Such a relief! That’s one less thing for me to think about while I mindlessly shovel popcorn into my mouth. In case the black suit and villainous gaze didn’t give it away, he’s here to tell you that he is indeed the antagonist that will be bucking up against the titular heroes for the next two-plus hours. Enjoy the show!
I hope Idris Elba got a dump truck full of cash delivered to his home for this. He’s one of the best actors on the planet, and he’s punching down far below his weight class in a way that’s damn near cringeworthy.
Hobbs & Shaw (ahem, excuse me. Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw) Is the first attempt of the F&F franchise to branch out and try a spinoff. The little franchise that could has become a behemoth that rivals Disney at the box office. That’s thanks in large part to the addition of The Rock to the series. (Yes, The Rock. I grew up watching him drop The People’s Elbow on countless jabronis long before he was the world’s hardest working movie star. He’ll always be The Rock, no matter how much he wants to be Dwayne Johnson.) The Rock has described himself in the past as “franchise viagra” for his ability to inject new life and vitality into stale franchises. He’s not wrong here. The Fastest and Most Furious-est brand was flailing after its fourth installment, aptly titled Fast & Furious.
Enter Luke Hobbs (The Rock) in Fast Five, and the franchise took off like a 1970 Dodge Charger R/T blasting NOS through its exhaust. Hobbs was a great foil, and subsequent teammate, for our crew of street racers turned superheroes. It’s a great role for The Rock as well. He’s able to turn on his trademark charm, open multiple cans of whoop-ass, and he doesn’t have to do much “acting”, which has never been his strong suit. Like Sly Stallone and Arnold, his spiritual predecessors, he’s there to look tough, flex his pecs, and spout what a 12 year old boy would consider witty banter. He does it, and does it pretty well; just not well enough to make Hobbs & Shaw as enjoyable as the rest of the recent Fast fare.
I smell what you’re cookin’ Rock. Ya should’ve left this movie in the oven for another 45 minutes or so because everything about it is half-baked.
Jason Statham is a great action star, and underutilized by the industry as a whole. His Crank movies are two of the most fun action movies I’ve ever seen. I’m assuming his mush-mouthed Cockney accent is a turnoff for American casting directors, but he’s a legitimate ass-kicker who performs all of his own stunts. He adds an air of believability to a franchise that gets more and more outrageous with every outing. He’s the British Jackie Chan. Despite seemingly being able to only speak out of the sides of his mouth, he has an understated charisma and dry sense of humor that is most welcome in a film series that relishes in bombast. His character, Deckard Shaw, has gone from the world’s most wanted terrorist and a mass murderer to a savior of the planet and the closest thing the series has had to an antihero since Vin Diesel in the first installment. It’s improbable, it’s ridiculous, but fuck it. That’s what the series is all about.
The best scenes in the movie, in my opinion, aren’t the eye-rolling set pieces or the cringe-inducing one liners. The best moments are the two scenes that Statham shares with his incarcerated mother, played by the legendary Hellen Mirren. Their dynamic is genuinely funny and believable as a mother/son duo who happen to also be expert criminals.
While there is sure to be a Hobbs & Shaw sequel, based on early box office numbers and the countless plot threads left hanging in the movie, I’d rather see a spinoff focusing solely on the Shaw family.
Vanessa Kirby proves she can hang with the big boys in a mega budget action flick with her turn as Hattie Shaw, estranged sister to Deckard. Kirby’s Emmy-nominated performance as the troubled Princess Margaret in The Crown is about as polar opposite as you can get. Good for her. She won’t be falling victim to any sort of typecasting any time soon. In a movie riddled with testosterone, she gives as good as she gets. She can trade punches as well as barbed insults with The Rock and Statham in equal measure. While she falls prey to the “Strong Woman is strong because she can beat up guys” pitfall, people don’t come out to see these movies for the deep emotional development of the characters. It’s all just filler until the next car chase or exploding building. As far as filler goes, however, Kirby does just fine.
“We can have her bleed, but not too much. Have her scratched up, but, like, in a sexy way. Tough and sexy. That's what we need.” - Director to makeup artist.
All in all, I wouldn’t recommend seeing this in theaters. It’s worth a watch on Netflix as background noise while you do worthwhile things like laundry or a crossword puzzle. It starts out great, but it drags a lot in the middle. The climax is also painfully long. The editor could have easily shaved 10-15 minutes off and not lost anything worth seeing. Movies like this should never run more than two hours. The 135 minute runtime had me discreetly looking at my phone for a time check in the theater. That’s always a sign that something’s gone awry. The recent F&F installments can get away with their extended runtimes because they have a gigantic and entertaining ensemble cast with each member needing their moments to shine.
The Rock and Jason Statham simply don’t have the chemistry to fill out over two hours of movie essentially on their own. They can only trade so many lame insults back and forth before I start to actively feel my brain cells dying with each punchline. Based on early box office performance, Fast & Furious is sure to be presenting us with more Hobbs & Shaw for the foreseeable future. They’re going to need some additional interesting characters and more creative set pieces though, or this spinoff franchise will soon fall victim to to the law of diminishing returns.
Spoilers Ahead
Oh shit! It’s Vin Diesel come to reclaim his throne!
5 Quick Hits
Cameos by Ryan Reynolds and Kevin Hart made this movie bearable. The Rock and Kevin Hart have proven themselves to be one of the funniest onscreen duos in the industry today. Their banter both in their films and on social media is genuinely hilarious. Reynolds shines as both employer and superfan to Luke Hobbs. Their roles should be expanded in future installments.
As a fan of Game of Thrones, I appreciated the many references, even if they felt a bit shoehorned in to make the characters more relatable. The end credits scene where Reynolds spoils the GoT ending for Hobbs was a fun way to send the audience home for the night.
The globetrotting in this movie felt extremely forced and nonsensical. I get that exotic locations have become a staple of F&F movies, but going from LA to London to Moscow to Ukraine to Samoa was overkill.
Eiza Gonzalez is hot as hell. I know it’s shallow and lacks depth, but so does her character. That’s all there is to say about her in this movie. She’s literally there solely as eye candy. That’s a damn shame too, because she’s a talented actress and I enjoyed her performance in Baby Driver.
The virus in this movie is nothing but a cheap MacGuffin and is eerily similar to Mission: Impossible 2. The target audience for Hobbs & Shaw wasn’t even alive in 2000 when that came out though, so I guess they can get away with it. A virus is implanted in a patient zero (who also happens to be the main character’s love interest), and the heroes are on a ticking clock to save the love interest from becoming the epicenter of a worldwide epidemic. It’s the exact same. Whatever.
