Mediocre performances and a hackneyed script make this a hard pass for cinephiles; but if you love dogs, it’s a must-see. (The dog lives!) 5.0/10

Full Disclosure: In the interest of the title of this segment: Yes, I’m one of those people who cares more about dogs than humans. (In movies at least, though the older I get, the truer that sentiment becomes in real life.) Tens of thousands of humans can perish in an alien attack or an asteroid strike and I won’t bat an eye, but if an innocent canine bites the dust, I’m out. I know I’m far from the only one who feels this way. There’s even a website dedicated to my ilk called Does the Dog Die.

I usually hate movies like this; not because they’re bad movies (though many times they are), but because they manipulate the heart in such an easy and predictable way that they’re not worth seeing. (I’m looking at you, Marley & Me, A Dog’s Purpose, and The Art of Racing in the Rain.) I don’t need to spend two hours in a theater having my guts ripped out and my soul destroyed.

It’s a credit to the marketing team behind Arthur the King that they flat out said in the promotions that this cute little pup makes it to the end credits (though far from unscathed. The poor guy is about as scathed as scathed can get without expiring). Otherwise, I wouldn’t have seen it. Losing a fur baby is one of the hardest things a loving owner can experience in life, and I don’t need that feeling simulated for me by Hollywood.

Give that dog a paddle! Damn freeloader.

At the risk of this becoming more of a diary entry than a critique of this movie, I have to say I am insanely and unreasonably sensitive when it comes to dog movies. I cried during Homeward Bound and Air Bud, but not during Schindler’s List or Terms of Endearment. This review is written through that lens, so do with that what you will.

Arthur the King is very loosely based on the 2016 nonfiction book Arthur - The Dog Who Crossed the Jungle to Find a Home by Michael Lindnord, a Swedish adventure racer. I say “very” loosely because there are a ton of changes from the book to the film. While wholesale changes are always a part of adapting books, this is nearly an entirely different story. As far as I can tell, the only things that carry over from book to film are the adventure racing aspects and the fact that a stray dog crossed the jungle. It’s still impressive, and the spirit of this incredible true story is still intact, but that’s about it.

The real-life duo that the film is based on.

Mark Wahlberg plays Michael Light, an Americanized version of the author of the source material. (I guess Marky Mark trying a Swedish accent was a bridge too far for this one.) He’s a washed-up adventure racer whose pride and stubbornness are given to us as his character flaws. (I said this was a hackneyed script, and I meant it. The movie’s exposition is painful.) Michael has one last chance at glory, so he assembles a team consisting of influencer Leo (Simu Liu), an aging navigator with a bad knee named Chik (Ali Suliman), and Olivia (Nathalie Emmanuel), a woman who wants to please her hard-ass, ex-racer dad.

Together, they must overcome their respective character flaws and work as a team in order to compete in a grueling all-terrain race through the jungles of the Dominican Republic that stretches 435 miles.

There’s no love like the love between man and dog.

Spoilers Ahead

The plot of Arthur the King is mind-numbingly predictable, the characters are boilerplate, and the action is dull (with the exception of one kind of cool zip-line sequence). What saves this from being a piece of shit is 1. Mark Wahlberg’s effortless charm and 2. The dog. Let’s be real. The people who do see this movie only want to see it because it’s about the indomitable canine spirit and how unwaveringly loyal man’s best friend can be. Dogs are mankind’s greatest invention, and it shows in this story.

When the team is in great peril in the middle of the jungle, a stray dog (who Mark Wahlberg gave some meatballs to earlier at base camp) stops them from tumbling to their deaths over a cliff by barking at them when they’re near the edge. The dog, who has known nothing but neglect and abuse, has followed this team over a hundred miles through the unforgiving terrain. (Cue the waterworks.) The team takes him in, and he becomes an immediate media sensation as the race continues. He’s the mascot of this rag-tag group of athletes.

So the team races, and races, and races some more. They jog, kayak, and zip-line through the jungle, all with the dog in tow. All is not well though. The dog (now named Arthur for his bravery and valor) shows signs of severe physical abuse. The grueling journey is taking a heavy toll on the poor mutt, and he’s slowing the team down. Arthur, being the goodest of boys, doesn’t understand the concept of racing. He just wants to be loved. (Tear ducts at full capacity, Captain!) When Wahlberg and company leave Arthur on a riverbank so they can kayak their way to certain victory, Arthur swims in pursuit. Even for a dog with Arthur’s sprit, he can’t make that swim with his abuse injuries.

The team is now faced with a dilemma: (which isn’t much of a dilemma if you have any trace of human decency) let our beloved furry hero meet a watery grave for the crime of loving too much, or go back and save the pup at the expense of winning a race that no one outside the sport of adventure racing will ever hear about. Hmmm… decisions, decisions…

The team, obviously, decides to not be a group of heartless fucking monsters and they save Arthur just as his little head disappears beneath the water’s surface. So the team finishes second in the race, but number one in everyone’s hearts. Arthur’s journey isn’t over yet though, as he will surely die if he doesn’t receive the medical care he needs. Unfortunately, the Dominican Republic isn’t well-known for their world-class veterinary hospitals. Plus, Wahlberg isn’t allowed to take his infection-ridden stray animal back to the States (customs and whatnot). With Arthur’s life in the balance, Wahlberg uses the media to pressure the government into allowing him and his dog to go home. Arthur hangs on… and Arthur lives! The end.

The most emotionally evocative shot of this movie.

5 Quick Hits

One of the weirder rules the MPAA has in place is that in a movie that’s rated PG-13, you’re allowed one use of the word “fuck”. It’s wholly arbitrary and stupid, just like most censorship rules, but that’s the way it is. Anyway, Arthur the King’s one “fuck” is well utilized. It’s when Wahlberg and Arthur are both at their lowest point at the Dominican vet and he’s pleading for his dog’s life.
During a racing montage, Wiz Khalifa’s “Work Hard, Play Hard” is played. It’s a great hype track, but the lyric “It’s straight from Cali. That’s what’s in my joint that’s what I’m puffin’” really doesn’t gel with the vibe of the film.
In my opinion, Nathalie Emmanuel is one of the most attractive people on Earth. I’ve been spellbound by her since she got her big break as Missandei on Game of Thrones. I think the jury’s still out on if she’s actually a good actress, though. Her American accent was terrible in this movie. To be fair, between this script and her recent appearances in the Fast & Furious franchise, she hasn’t had much to work with.
One interesting aspect of this movie is that it introduced me to the world of adventure racing. I’m sure a lot of the finer points of the sport were glossed over for brevity’s sake, but it seems like one of the most tortuous sports around, and it may be the ultimate team sport.
Bear Grylls (of Man vs. Wild fame) is in this film as the play-by-play commentator, but we only hear his voice. I thought it was a weird choice that we never see his face, given that he’s a proven television personality.